I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
