So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
and she was petting her beer can
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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