We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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