How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We left an ass print on the piano.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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