I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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