Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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