ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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