You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
