i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
