my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
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In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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