You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
