Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
