I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
