Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
