i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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