wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
