she woke up with a sticky ear
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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