His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
