New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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