Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize