i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
