someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize