When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
