The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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