shes about as inviting as chlamydia
honey bunches of taint.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
