Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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