using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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