Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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