Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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