We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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