I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
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I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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