why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
