why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
