You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
