I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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