I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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