I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
