One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
