someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
