There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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