i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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