new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
