he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
As shirtless as possible
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
