not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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