If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize