So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
