Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
