WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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