the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
