didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
