I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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