this must be what syphilis tastes like
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
