eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
