Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize