I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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