If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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