I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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