For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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