She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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