Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
whose parrot is this?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
