Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
