i think i have two assholes
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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