At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
