I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
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You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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