his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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