Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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